I wish that I could have these moments where I step outside of myself and get perspective so that I can give myself some sound advice.
Because I AM SO GOOD at being supportive and giving other people advice. Really! I totally am.
But when it comes to my shit I’m just all befuddled.
That’s why I have you guys though.
Basically how I feel all the time. I can never tell if something’s actually wrong, or if my anxiety is making me think something is wrong.
Example: Beardsley. I like him lots, I like seeing him, and because of those two things I’m sure any moment things will go wrong, and he’ll lose interest just like everybody else.
And because I’m always expecting the worse, I read every little thing as a sign of doom.
So I find myself repeating things like, “If he leaves, he leaves,” and other nonsense that’s only comforting to myself.
ETA: Okay, re-reading this I might have gone off on a tangent from Poly’s original point. Sorry, Poly.
theladybrain, I don’t know how to draw shitty sex position diagrams but:
1. He goes from behind and reads the book over my shoulder.
2. Missionary, with my arms over his shoulders holding the book behind his head.
Neither posture is sustainable long-term so I’d stick with short proses.
Reblogging, for science.
17. Another awkward story: On my date with Beardsley at the aquarium I asked one of the tour guides where they got that, “Tiny mantaray from?” I was then informed that it was not the worlds cutest mantaray, but an ordinary shoehorn crab.
Google image now confirms they look nothing alike.
25. My favorite thing from the aquarium, the elusive potato fish:
17. Last night I saw an old schoolmate, who had been sort of a 3rd tier friend. I stood 4 feet away, made eye contact, but instead of doing normal person things like saying hi, I made a clumsy three point turn with my cart and pretended I forgot something in the next aisle.
18. I became a history major after I read this:
"Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry."
27. I’m surprised it worked out to be so hipstery, there are so many embarassing things on my iPod.
Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol
Silent Sigh - Badly Drawn Boy
Blinded by the Lights - The Streets
Bring Him Home - Mandy Patinkin, Les Miserable
Everybody’s Free to Feel Good - Quindon Tarver (That song from the wedding scene in Romeo + Juliet.)
Two Headed Boy Part II - Neutral Milk Hotel
Song for No One - Miike Snow
Middle of Nowhere - Hot Hot Heat
Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too - Say Anything
Foundations - Kate Nash