After years of being their referee, go-between, and confidant I went to my parents this evening to give my final verdict.
The high of a new relationship has indeed made me an insufferable ass.
Sadly that wasn’t the verdict.
"You two need to communicate," I went to each of them to separately so I could deliver the message tactfully.
It is true that I have spent the greater part of 25 years trying to explain one parent to the other. I don’t know when they gave up on having conversations, but at some point I became both their friend and therapist. After a fight between the two of them I became their consoler, I was the one who knew how the had hurt the other, how they were in the right, and what they were actually trying to say eachother. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy being let in on the secret world of adults, yes it was scary, but it made me feel needed and even later became a deep seeded idea that I was key in keeping them together.
So tonight I thought I was doing the right thing by finally offering my own thoughts on the root of their communications problems. I of course, like every good therapist, tried to maintain impartiality by pointing out the mistakes they both have made equally.
I am of course an idiot. For nine months I have rode the high of new love; like a stoner I’m mistaking my bullshit for wisdom, like a new convert I assume what’s new to me must be new to everyone else. Idiot.
So I said it. And my Dad said, “Nothing’s wrong,” then went back to trolling twitter on his smartphone. Andy Mom said, “Okay,” them screwed up her face to stop her from crying and waved me out of the room.
I am a child.